read Nightlight A Parody epub ☆ Paperback ↠ the harvard lampoon

reader Ì Nightlight A Parody ´ The Harvard Lampoon

N the Nightlight A MOBI #190 Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send up of Twilight Pale and klutzy Belle arrives in Switchblade Oregon looking for adventure or at least an undead classmate She soon discovers Edwart a super hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch Edwart saves her from a flying snowball– I wiped the chemical dust off my clothes and sat down Without looking at Edwart I pulled out my textbook and notepad Then without looking at Edwart I looked at the board and wrote down the terms Mr Franklin had written I don’t think other people in my situation could do uite so many things without looking at EdwartWhen the bell rang I stole another glance at him and shrank into a deeper sense of worthlessness He was now staring furiously up at the bell shaking all the muscles in his fist at it glowering at it with his dark heated eyes and loathing lashes He clenched his hair in exasperation clinging to the tussled tufts as he raised his head to the ceiling Then he slowly turned to me Looking into his eyes I felt waves of electricity currents of electrons charging towards me Was this how it felt to be in love I wondered for robots Caught in his ionized hypnosis the old adage came to mindBeautiful enough to kill gut stuff and frame above your fireplaceBelle Goose is a catastrophically clumsy scarily narcissistic teenager who has just moved to Switchblade to live with her father a window wiper since her stepfather is going on tour with his street hockey team around Phoenix and there may be no space for Belle to live in his car Belle has a fascination with vampires she believes her true love is destined to be one When she spots the strange lonely barely coherent Edwart Mullen in her new high school's cafeteria she knows she's found her soul mate Nightlight is funny mostly From the cover to the last page this book is one large fart joke aimed at Twilight and you can't help but find it hilarious However it gets a little old after a while This is not a very long book but after the first fifty pages of taking digs at Meyer's masterpiece it begins to get repetitive This is one of the main reasons I like satires better than spoofs At least satires have a plot and actual characters This is like a joke book after the first fifty jokes you want a break There are some parts where the jokes are really funny even subtle and those made me laugh However you can pretty much tell from the preponderance of snot and body odor jokes that this was written by a bunch of smart but nerdy undergrads Of course the end message about judging by appearances about building relationships on false illusions about learning to love a person instead of an ideal is one that every YA author ought to take home We looked at each other and laughed a little because hey relationships take work and communicationAll in all it's a uick entertaining read but if you're expecting subtlety class or major wit in your spoof you're likely to be disappointed

book Nightlight A Parody

Nightlight A ParodyBelle has a dramatic revelation Edwart is a vampire But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride especially when he seems to find girls so repulsiveComplete with romance danger insufficient parental guardianship creepy stalker like behavior and a vampire prom Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire obsessed girl looking for love in all the wrong places It's hardly ground breaking but I'm giving it four stars on the sheer enjoyment factor I'm actually a fan of the Twilight books but I get that Stephenie Meyer is no Shakespeare and this series is hardly world class literature Twilight's gotten so huge it was only a matter of time before someone sent it up so I was eager to see what a bunch of nerds from Harvard did to itBelle Goose is an exaggerated piss take of Bella She's self obsessed and believes everyone else to be obsessed with her Hmm LThe lovely Edwart is a girl phobic Sega hating computer nerd who Belle falls for I laughed out loud a lot during this book but it felt as if it was a random collection of sentences lots of different people wrote Very confusing I was expecting of a 'Pride Prejudice Zombies' type thing of an exposé on all of the cheesy moments that make up Twilight but it doesn't matter since the whole thing is the most non serious thing I've ever read Whether you like Twilight or believe Stephenie Meyer is the human form of Satan Nightlight should bring you together through humour A must read

The Harvard Lampoon ´ Nightlight A Parody ebook

read Nightlight A Parody epub ☆ Paperback ↠ the harvard lampoon É [Read] ➭ Nightlight A Parody By The Harvard Lampoon – Eyltransferservices.co.uk About three things I was absolutely certainFirst Edwart was most likely my soul mate maybeSecond there was a vampire part of him which I assumedAbout three things I was absolutely certainFirst Edwart was most likely my soul mate maybeSecond there was a vampire part of him which I assumed was wildly out of his control that wanted me deadAnd third I unconditionally irrevocably impenetrably heterogeneously gynecologically and disreputably wished he had kissed meAnd thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen i Not uite as terrible as I first thought but still pretty bad To give you some idea of what it's like here's one of the passages I most enjoyed Belle Goose is talking to her fatherSo Belle what's new todayDad I said grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the worldGosh Belle When someone asks you 'What's new' the correct answer is 'Not much' Besides isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave I'm imagining pages and pages would happen with nothing but the names of the months on themIf Edwart ever left I'd find some other monster to hang out with You know I have no social skills I said I guess I'm like my dad in that way I wasn't usually this emotional with him and it felt goodUnfortunately most of it isn't nearly as subtle and clever as that